The Only Two Things That Scare Me

There are only two things that scare me in life. But they scare the shit out of me each and every day. As a result, two questions guide every decision I make. And, for that, I am grateful.

1. Hurting Those I Love

This may seem simple. After all, why would we ever wish to harm those we care about most dearly? Only the most ill-minded people would do such things voluntarily, right? And yet, we often passively slip into becoming the very people we demean.

We seldom stop to ask how our decisions might impact those in our lives, those who support us, those who invest their energy in us, those who surround us, those whom we profess to hold so dearly in our hearts. But, every decision we make directly influences them as well. For, they too are implicated in the webs of our lives. Whatever string we pull, they feel it too.

So, I ask myself:

Am I hurting those I love, whether through action or inaction?

And, when formulating our answers, we mustn’t forget to account for our own selves within the equation.

2. Wasting Their Time

Again, who would voluntarily seek to waste the time of another, much less their own? Yet, we routinely succumb to distraction and deviation, without pause to correct or contemplate our course. There is a right time for everything. We mustn’t shy away from the spectrum of human experiences available to us. Nor should we label decisions about how we spend our time as objectively good or globally bad. Everything has its time and place in our lives. We must simply pause to consider if the moment before us is such a right time.

So, I ask myself:

Am I wasting their time, whether through my presence or lack thereof?

It is crucial to note that the activity at hand is only one part of this equation.

Yes, the activity must be suited to the moment. The moment must be considered as its own uniquely precious chunk of time — separate from the large swaths we believe ourselves entitled to experience. Everything has its time and its place, everything must be taken and experienced in moderation. But, when we engage, we must ensure all parties show up whole-heartedly. For, what use is half-assing anything?

If we choose to value our time and that of others, we must remain honest about the presence we bring to these interactions.

When the timing is no longer right, or all are no longer fully present, we must respect and honour the natural need for transition. Otherwise, the time will pass and we will have wasted it. The decision to persist in these times harms those we love, ourselves included.

But, thankfully, our hands are far from tied. We all have agency to exercise over our lives. Though, we mustn’t neglect that this too is a loaded gift.

Those are the only two things that scare me. What scares you?